It is a common problem stated over and over in coaching sessions I have had over the years. It is a universal problem for men and for women in every country where I have worked.
The leaders I work with talk about the mercurial managers they work for. They don’t call them “mercurial”, by the way. They ask for advice on how to deal with their manager, who may be a man or woman, who finds fault with them or makes them wrong or publicly humiliates them. My clients feel unjustly accused or blamed or, at the very least, undervalued by their bosses. It often comes to light in the coaching conversation that the boss is actually unpredictable meaning that my client doesn’t know what mood their boss will be in when they go into work each day because sometimes the boss will be pleasant and sometimes the boss with be critical and even demeaning.
For example, I talked with a young man yesterday, who was hurt by his boss telling him that he was too hyper. He explained to me that she was about 18 years older than him and he thought that was why they sometimes saw things so differently which was a good theory. In multi-generational workplaces, there are differences in perspectives based on the generational perspectives of the workers.
However, the more we talked, I began to see that he felt that he couldn’t please his boss and he was discouraged. He had tried to hand off her comments by trying to lighten the mood with humor. This seldom works however, because the boss doesn’t want to be taken lightly.
As the session progressed, we expanded his perspective of the situation and explored his options about what he could and couldn’t do. He could change himself and his approach to her. For example, he could begin to “manage up”. He could respond seriously in the moment or later after he had time to craft a response.
However, he could not change her. Sometimes the mercurial boss, who has the authority to fire a direct report, is too unpredictable to work with. Sometimes the situation is too unsafe for the direct report to risk making themselves vulnerable. Unfortunately this often goes unrecognized in the workplace where we expect adults to work out their own problems. Some people are toxic and damaging to those around them creating an atmosphere where others keep their heads down in fear rather than up and out and learning and innovating.
The worst of the mercurial bosses can not be helped because they will always blame the other person. They will be insulted to learn that someone thinks they have a problem. However, other bosses may not know that they are perceived as mercurial. If they get this feedback, and do care how they impact others or want to have a positive impact in the workplace, they will be glad to know that they can become consistent and non- reactive. If they have a coach to help them define new behavior goals and they are willing to change the often deep seeded perceptions that drove this behavior in the first place, then they will grow and change and become productive leaders. These behaviors are very hard to change without help even by those who mean well.
Could you have some of the characteristics of mercurial boss? You can easily find out by asking others if they perceive you as predictable. Do they experience you as a safe person or as someone who breaks out in inappropriate anger sometimes?
These are hard questions. It takes a brave person who wants to be a positive force in the workplace. It could be worth it. New research tells us that workplaces where people feel valued and people feel the pure joy of accomplishment have higher performance, and productivity!
